WHAT BEING THANKFUL TRULY MEANS
I have learned over the years there are many levels of being thankful. As a child I was thankful for a lot of things, sadly they were mostly material items. Growing up in a world of private planes, unlimited access to credit cards, and lots of freedom, it made for a mindset that developed into “a material world, and I was a material girl.” Sorry for the Madonna moment there!
From a very young age I felt that material things set your status in life. I was 14 years old when I got my first car (a vintage 1975 Corvette). At 18, I was given my first Mercedes Benz. One of the moments that stick out the most for me was when I was 12. I can remember being dropped off at the mall with a friend and was given my mama’s credit card and $1,000 cash just in case, “…they wouldn’t take the credit card because of my age.” I tell people often, when I checked out at the store that day, everything changed for me. They wouldn’t take the credit card because I was 12 and it wasn’t mine, so I told them that was fine, I would pay cash for the items. I had bought probably close to $1,000 in clothing that day. That day I found the dangerous power that money can have.
Looking back, I never had much respect for anything I was given as a child or even into my adult years. It wasn’t that I expected it, but I grew up with the perception that if I wanted it, Daddy would make it happen. Not the best mindset for someone eventually transitioning into adulthood and with a growing addiction to alcohol.
Throughout my 12 years of my biggest struggle with my addiction, I was always the victim in my mind. Never would I have blamed myself or taken on any responsibility for my actions. It was always someone else’s fault, they wanted to see me unhappy, or they hurt me on purpose. Now, mind you, there was a small truth to some of it, but many of the things were brought on by my selfishness, my lack of understanding reality, and my ever growing disease of addiction.
Fast forward through the 12 years of alcohol addiction and 5.5 years of recovery, this Jaime has learned a lot and continues to learn & grow every day. I don’t hold on to the guilt and shame of my past. I have found peace in my actions and apologized if I can. The one thing I have learned out of my 38 years on this earth is thankfulness. You hear people often say, “Each day is a blessing,” but it truly is. I wake up every morning thankful to be alive, thankful to make mistakes and to learn from them, thankful to have a family that stuck by me when I didn’t even want to be around myself, and thankful for everyone’s forgiveness. So as we approach Thanksgiving this year, remember there are 364 other days in each year that we should show thanks to the people in our lives. There is so much to be thankful for if you just look for it.
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